There are many things you can do to lightly bring up the subject. I also have a whole video talking about how to introduce kink to a partner which covers a specific method for approaching this subject. The book, When Someone you Love is Kinky can be helpful. The biggest hurdle is learning to overcome this fear and anxiety, and to trust that your partner wants to know what makes you happy. Some will, but the people who care (and those who would be suited to explore this lifestyle, as it turns out) will listen. That they would judge us, run away, and call us freaks. We are taught to be ashamed, and not talk to our partner about what we need. In the vanilla world, we are taught to shut away our desires, feelings and wants. However there may be a middle ground you can both meet at depending on what you both need and are willing to do. Not everyone can be altruistic in a relationship with something that makes them uncomfortable for a long period of time even if they are initially willing to compromise. Nor can you mold just anyone into being a submissive or slave. Not everyone is cut out to be a Dominant. Know as well that even if you say everything perfectly, you may not be able to engage in your desired lifestyle or activity with your current partner. The biggest thing you can do is talk! Having clear, open communication is the key to having a healthy BDSM relationship of any kind, and is key to helping a vanilla person understand kink.
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